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Sep 1, 2007

The Trip Series: Amniotic

Always the same way home. Always the same people. Always the same thoughts. For how much longer? Is late in the night, but darkness doesn’t scare me anymore. I am one of them. The sound of the metallic wheels devouring the railways goes unnoticed. I throw a coin in his case, and he begins to play his music for me. I find an empty seat and I sit, like I would sit at my favorite couch at home. I lean my head against the window, and my eyes get lost. I am submerged in the tunnel, but I travel at a different speed. The amniotic fluid begins to cover my body. Lights dim slowly and fade into darkness. My eyelids close. Time... I lose the sense of time. I wish this trip would never end. My home is so close and yet so far away.

Always the same way home. Always the same people. Always the same thoughts. Why do I not react? My destiny is almost invariable. The fluid covers my body. I open my mouth letting it fill my lungs, but I do not die; I am even more alive. My arms relax. I float... I had the opportunity in my hands, but I always played other people’s game. Today I want to use my own rules, but it is too late in the night, and the darkness doesn’t scare me anymore. So I sleep in the most beautiful liquid that has ever caressed me.

Always the same movements. Always the same arguments. Always the same thoughts. Will I ever wake up? When the day begins, and the sun shines giving life to the dirtiest and most dead places in the city, I know that it is one more day where I will not see the flowers grow, or my children play. The usual strangers will be the most important thing of the day, although inside of me it will always be about my family. Some day I would like it to be about me. Laughs, shouts, talk about sex and sports. I resist... it will be over soon. Everything is a dense farce. I try to be happy, but it is too late. And the night is coming.

Always the same movements. Always the same arguments. Always the same thoughts. Will it be different sometime? Bills pass through my hands. Luxury cars pass through my eyes. I will never accomplish my big dream, but I cannot complain. I have the hope that my children will live a better life, and do every thing I could not do. I see them dedicating their triumphs to me. I smile... Suddenly a hand moves my leg and I open my eyes. It is an old woman with only one arm that can barely stammer some words. There is always someone in worse condition than us. The train pulls up at my station. I give her my last coin, and I go home.

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